We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize
