Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
Have you finally orgasmed yet?
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
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