Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
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