fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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