question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
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