We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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