I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
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