It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
porn star boner night. come get it.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
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