Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
