Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
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