Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
No subtext here. People are naked.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Randomize
