I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
Randomize
