So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize