do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
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