yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
P.S. I can't hear my feet
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
Randomize
