just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
