I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
