Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
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