You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
Randomize
