her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
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