is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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