I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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