I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
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