planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Randomize
