i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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