bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
Randomize
