Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Randomize
