Just fell off a train. Bad.
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
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