Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize
