just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
Randomize
