That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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