idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
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