have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
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