He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
