apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
Randomize
