I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
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