fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
Randomize
