As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
I licked your asshole in confidence.
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
Randomize
