I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
