I must be too annoying 4 u.
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Randomize