Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
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