don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
Randomize
