So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
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You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
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I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
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