He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
Randomize