I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
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