apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
How external is "for external use only"?
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
