she looked like the bat from fern gully.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Randomize
