question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
I have feelings that need drinking.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
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