sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Randomize
