It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
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