I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
Randomize
