i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
