i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Randomize
