with your own penis?
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
