i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Randomize
