I wish I could teleport
i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
My phone auto-corrects smirnoff to poisoned. I think it is trying to tell me something.
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
