I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
