I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
Randomize
